A cowboy named Fred

Subject: A Cowboy named Fred

A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo Theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher became more impatient: "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."

Once again, the cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success.

Finally they summoned the police. The Texas Ranger surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?"

"Fred," the cowboy moaned.

"Where ya from, Fred?" asked the Ranger.

With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Fred replied, "...the balcony..."

That's a good one.

Baldy, I must be a redneck. I have used my shotgun to trim back a siberian elm that was getting into my TV antenna. No way to reach it with a step ladder, 30 ft. up. Limbs too wimpy to climb out on or to support a ladder. Shotgun cured the problem with a few shots. DALE:fighting68:

I came across your ad and I'll like to know the
following questions regarding the ad.
Q#1. How long have you owned it?
Q#2. a) Have you owned it from new?
b) If not how many previous owner?
Q#3. Why are you selling it?
Q#4. In your opinion, what sort of condition is it?
Q#5. Any available photo?
Q#6. How much are you asking for it?
I'll like to have the response to these question in
your earliest conviniency. Hope to hear from you soon

#1 All my life
#2 I was born with it and don't believe in reincarnation, so none I know of.
#3 I have never sold it before, but might if the price was right, kinda depends on what she looks like.
#4 It appears to be worn to a nub, but improves with medication.
#5 None I know of.
#6 I was just thinking of taking offers and see what I could get, and go from there.

#1 All my life
#2 I was born with it and don't believe in reincarnation, so none I know of.
#3 I have never sold it before, but might if the price was right, kinda depends on what she looks like.
#4 It appears to be worn to a nub, but improves with medication.
#5 None I know of.
#6 I was just thinking of taking offers and see what I could get, and go from there.





I am talking about my gift of gab with the ladies, now.